I have been sitting on this for a minute, just sitting. And so many things come to mind, so this’ll be a stream of consciousness.
It was so special to be in a space with other people so hungry to see pieces of our stories and experiences on the screen. To also have someone from home put in words/images parts of home.
on breathing - I remember my first few days in Berkeley as a freshmen and being on the verge of a panic attack. I remember looking up the street and feeling the anxiety slowly creep through my body --- I was having a hard time breathing. I was so used to the heaviness in the air that the lightness of the air had me gasping. The desperation of having so much air rush into my lungs was overwhelming, as was the guilt and anger that communities could have such vastly different environmental experiences.
airplanes - I hear airplanes and they have a more textured meaning to me now. It used to be a reminder of the environmental burdens that our communities face and now, they are the messy binding of what it feels like to want to stay and go at the same time. To feel the love, safety, and connection of family and community and at the same time the urge/ncy to leave. explore. build something new. something different.
home + family - It was so beautiful to see the love of a father for his son slowly unfold before us as the film progressed. Sometimes I think that the busy-iness and hardness of what makes the city the city seeps into the relationships that we hold with others. The need to protect our loved ones, to make them fierce, to make them strong, so that the city doesn't devour them, can transform the tenderness, hopes, dreams, and love into hardness, separation, disconnection. The apparitions were reminders of the love and hope that our loved ones have for us and how it lingers even when they are not physically around.
Comentários